The Great Now What

The story of Maggie

My name is Maggie Whittum and I am 38 years old. I grew up in the mountains of Colorado USA hiking, horseback riding, camping, and snowboarding. I studied drama in college and lived and worked abroad for many years. I wanted to be a professional actor and director. I fancied myself to be exceptionally independent and capable, vibrant and full of grace, ambition, and vivacity. My career was going well and I was in graduate school in Washington, DC. I was engaged and planning to start a family.

THEN

Christmas Day 2014, I had a stroke at age 33. Very unexpectedly, a cavernous angioma in my brainstem started to hemorrhage (I didn’t know it was there). Horrendous things ensued – left-sided paralysis, facial paralysis, extreme visual impairment, a ventilator, two acute care hospitals, weeks in the ICU, brain surgery, five weeks in a rehab hospital. That was early 2015 – I would end up needing three more major surgeries in 2015. So, my 2015 was full of a lot of hospitals and doctors and therapy and… hope…and fear.

I had to permanently withdraw from my graduate program and my engagement fell apart. I moved back to Colorado in early 2016 to be closer to my family. After 14 months, I finally started working again – doing part-time administrative work for a friend of mine from home. Life is completely different than I ever thought it could be.

I still do some therapy and go to doctors’ appointments and I am coming to grips with what my long-term issues are. I endure intense chronic pain (constant burning, freezing, and numbness in my left side). My vision is extremely impaired – I can’t drive, reading is difficult and watching live theatre, sadly, is quite unpleasant. My left side is uncoordinated and shaky, so no typing, and I can’t walk very well, let alone run or skip or jump. My face is still paralyzed, so I’m not conventionally “pretty” anymore.

I’m searching for some way forward in all of this. I have gotten involved with a theatre company here in Denver, Phamaly Theatre Company, that exclusively casts actors with disabilities. Additionally, I am producing a documentary film about my experience entitled The Great Now What. Please check out the film page to learn more 🙂 I started creating art pieces to try and describe my physical and emotional state. This art communicates my shattered sense of self. You can see more of my artwork on the film Facebook page, or film website. Watch the 2 minute teaser video here! (it isn’t on YouTube so I couldn’t put it in the video section.

The title of the film mirrors the state of my life… Now what?? I’m not really sure. I’m trying to figure it out.  

*Find others with Cavernous Angioma on RareConnect, the online platform for people affected by rare diseases

My interview on Recovery After Stroke - The Great Now What | Maggie Whittum EP 47