The story of tracy
I suddenly developed severe pain in my eyes one night while shopping. It was as if a light switch went on and suddenly sharp icicles were raining into my eyes. I spent the next 3 months going from one eye doctor to another. I couldn’t be in a room with light and spent most of the day with eyes closed. I couldn’t care for my 2 year old daughter. Unrelenting, pain. Like bacon grease or welding sparks flying into my eyes. I finally saw a corneal specialist in Boston and he had his fellow tell my husband what I needed was a psychiatrist. That my pain was psychosomatic. I made a plan for suicide.
A nurse practitioner prescribed percocet which made me so violently ill that my already frail body couldn’t handle it and I was put in the hospital. During that time my primary tried desperately to save me. She knew there was something going on, that my pain wasn’t all in my head. I saw a neurologist and he knew something was going on with my nerves. I was prescribed anti-convulsants and Cymbalta which helped take the edge off the pain. It took 7 years to finally have a confocal exam that showed the damaged nerves that were causing all my pain. The cornea is the most nerve dense part of the body. Imagine every morning waking up with anything from dust, to sand, to glass shards scraping your eyes all day long. That’s my life. On March 1, 2020 it will be 15 years. Without the support of my family and doctors I would never have made it this far. Suicidal thoughts often manage to crop up but I try to hold strong and encourage others who aren’t so far into their pain journey.