The story of Maria

Since I remember, I always felt pain. When I was around 8 years old, I’d complain about this pain in my feet and legs and everyone would brush it off – “you’re growing! That’s normal.”. During my teenage years, I had no energy, my headaches were unbereable and I was always sick. If I catched a little breeze, or someone had a cold, I knew I was going to get sick. All the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me, so it was just my depression and fibromyalgia. My legs would became paralyzed sometimes, I was extremely sensitive to certain foods or noises, I had days where I couldn’t even leave my bed because everything would hurt. I spent yeras being medicated with extremely strong anti depressives, until I decided to start exercising, eating healthier and gradually reduced my medication. I had a daughter and, when she was 1 year old, I was diagnosed with Arnold Chiari syndrome. Don’t get me wrong, but I was relieved. I finally knew what was wrong with me – and that it wasn’t in my head like all the doctors claimed! I mean… Technically it is! 😂 I went through a very hard process mentally. It’s hard to be diagnosed with a chronic disease – I’d ask myself why, why did this have to happen. But after years of therapy, I’m not angry anymore.
Currently, I’m going through a very bad phase. The pain is stronger everyday, and I’m waiting for my appointments, in order to have decompression surgery. I’m afraid. But I hope things get better after it. Sometimes it’s frustrating to be the mother who can’t play football for long, or the friend who can’t stand for hours during a show. But I appreciate a lot everyone that helps me everyday, and I consider myself to be very lucky. I am not my disease, but my disease is an undeniable part of me.